Welcome to our _OOL, Notice there is No P in it. Please Keep it that Way

Lucy's first day in floaties and she found out she likes licking the water. Yum.

And this is why I so love summer...I must admit, I'm dreading the winter "lock down" even now.

Why we had a Rhinoceros for Dinner

So yes, you may be looking at this picture of a broken chair and think, why did the White's invite a 2 ton rhinoceros for dinner? Why? Well my friends, it was not a rhinoceros, it was ME.

I know, I know. Humiliating yes.

But I might add...these chairs are quite old and literally on their last legs (we have even banished another precarious chair to our bedroom so it won't be sat upon)...and I was thinking just before this tragedy occurred, 'oh, these chairs are fine...we'll just use them until they fall apart'. Apparently the chair had the same idea in mind.

I mean, I know I have a pu-dunka-dunk. I know. I am not in denial...but this accident happened with only one butt cheek. In fact, the left cheek, imagine what could've happened with BOTH cheeks.

And did this happen when I was home alone, having a nice quiet moment pondering life? NO...it happened during Sunday dinner and while AW was on the phone with neighbor/friend. And he HAD to tell the hilarious story...and everyone was laughing. And Grace said, "Mom you weigh too much." So I laughed too...but to tell you the truth, I hurt: 1. My left butt cheek. 2. My elbow. 3. My head, and okay...my feelings a little too. Now everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to do the "Booty Chop" Kung Fu Panda style.

So. Now off to buy new chairs...going to Four Chairs because I have been dying for some apple green kitchen chairs. Fate has spoken, I shall have those STURDY apple green chairs.

Party Like It's...1989

So...went to my dear friends 40th birthday party and GASP they had a DJ. A real DJ. Like from some 'members only' club with a wig on and more disco balls than I could count. And at first everyone was like, WHAT? Dance? Us? No. We have like five kids and we can only do the white boy shuffle. But after he started playing 'You Dropped the Bomb on Me' from the Gap Band, I was in. Game. ON.



In high school I LIVED for church dances at the Stake Center...serious party time. And he started playing songs like "True" and "Chains of Love" and I was thrown way back to my UNITS outfit with matching creeper shoes, big bangs and even bigger earings. Long live the 80's. I must admit I even knew every word to "Like a Virgin" and could see my mom's disapproving face in my head. I came home sweaty and hoarse wondering WHEN could I do that again. I think I'm reinstituting the Dance Party at my house with Lucy Gayle.

And I was also reminded why I married my man...sister, he has got some MOVES. I mean his New Kids on the Block routine at his high school talent show is still LEGEND. Serious skillzzz.

Blueberry Crumble Decadence

So my friend Toby has this amazing recipe for BLUEBERRY CRUMBLE. And when I asked her where she got it, she said The Smitten Kitchen, which is a wonderful cooking blog. And since blueberries are in season, I had to try it.

I made it the other night and trust me, I would run laps and laps just so I could eat this crumble piping hot and drowning in a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Try it. You just have to try it.

1 C white sugar
1 tsp baking powder
3 C all-purpose flour
1 C cold butter
1 egg
1/4 tsp salt
zest and juice of 1 lemon
4 C fresh blueberries
1/2 C white sugar
4 tsp cornstarch

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease 9x13 pan. In a med bowl stir together 1 cup of sugar, 3 cups of flour and baking powder. Mix in salt and lemon zest. Use a pastry cutter to blend in butter and egg. Dough will be crumbly. Pat half of dough into pan. In another bowl, stir together the sugar, cornstarch and lemon juice. Gently mix in the blueberries. Sprinkle the blueberry mixture evenly over the crust. Crumble remaining dough over the berry layer. Bake in oven for 45 min until top is golden brown.

Want to have a good laugh(?)... OR: Why you should try things on

So last week I was off to my SLC book club, with my most loving and beautiful friends (who I miss living next door too so very much). And I was super excited because I NEVER get to see them. Okay. Not never, but hardly ever get to see them, even though we are a mere 30 minutes away.

Anyway...Book Club at the SLC Country Club, with beautiful women I love and admire, eat chocolate, gossip, revel, (cackling and giggling allowed)...all good things. Yes? But here was the problem. I wanted to look cute...you know a little fancy...and there was a blouse I had been eyeing at this place: Our Little Store but they opened at 11am...and it was like 10 or something. So I thought, okay. Babysitter comes at 11:00...I'll throw on a skirt and a shade shirt, pop down to the store on my way to Book Club and voila...I will be looking ever so stylish and BC worthy.

So down to Little Store and (gasp) they are only open on W-F-S!!! Can you believe? I ogled the blouse on display...I may have even pounded on the glass window...just a little. Alas...best laid plans always go kaput.

So. New plan. Who cares right? Although, Shade shirt was a little snug. You know, especially around the boobie area. So, drive to SLC and spy another wonderful little shop...Four and Twenty Sailors (cutest kids clothes ever!) and they sell women's clothing too. And happy day! Sale rack right outside---so I find a cute red and white stripe trapeze top, cute red buttons, size 10 (a little big, but it'll work) sales lady rings it up and says, "This runs a little big." I say, "No problem." And off I go, not a moment to spare. Park the car, jump out, and stand in the parking lot to pull on new and oh-so-lovely top when...SCREECH.

Wait.

One arm in, head in, but sooo very tight, like trying to wiggle through a hot-dog casing, my other arm-al-most-in...and YES. On. But. So not fitting right, it won't even button up the side.

Then: Old man drives by in a golf cart looking extremely suspicious just because I am sweating and struggling and my arms are waggling out of the blouse like a deformed hermit crab. (This is really not good for my self-esteem.)

Finally I say forget it and toss the blouse in the car and march away, with just a shred of dignity intact.

Go to lunch as I am.. only now a little red-faced and sweaty. And what do the girls say, "Jen, you look so cute!" Of course.

AND...went to return shirt.
Me: This really doesn't run big, it's quite small.
Sales Lady: I was wondering why no one was buying it, it's so cute.
Me: I know, it's really cute, but it doesn't fit right.
SL: How old is the little girl you're buying it for?
Me: WWWWHHHAAAAAATTTT? (That was inside my head). UHM....
SL: Well now I know why it hasn't sold.
Me: (I am such an idiot.) And I return it with a big dumb smile on my face.

Good news: I do not fit into a CHILD'S SIZE 10 (even when it does run a little big).

Why I have lack of commitment issues with Blogging and I ran too...

So again i have stopped blogging....I know. Why can't I stay on top of it? Why do I let it slide? WHY? (by the way, these are rhetorical questions, that only I can answer in my heart of hearts). But. I'm back. For now...:) Promises, promises.

But this morning I ran...and I'm using that word loosely because really I could have ran around my house and said I ran today...but really, I ran with three very talented and professional runners and then there was me. In the dust. Cheering them on from way-way behind. :) And look, I'm even happy about it. Sort of.

My goal is to run for many laps and not even breathe hard. That may be difficult, especially when I left my inhaler at home and at one point thought...hmmm...I hope I can walk home. So. Very bad choice on my part. Next time: 1) bring inhaler 2) bring my Zips so I can run faster. Does anyone remember Zips...back in the day? Za-za-za-Zips! My sister had a pair and it's true, she was and is quite fast. Opps. I mean in the completely athletic sense. I mean she runs super fast. Okay. I knew you knew what I meant.

And another few Sophie-isms.

Scene: At the pool.
Sophie: Mom I hit my head on the slide and I stayed awake.
me: What?
Sophie: I didn't knock out or something.

Scene: Watching Park City Fireworks
Sophie: Cinncinati-ma-cracky the fireworks are starting!